I suck major balls at organizing, and the irony isn’t lost on me that I own 40 white boards, 200 planners, 18,000 calendars, 20 billion bullet journal notebooks, and 500 trillion pens, post-its, stickers, and other planning accoutrements.
No sir, it is not.
But instead of giving up and becoming a mumbling recluse, buried in papers and half-crumpled notes, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands and create a brand new organizational system.
Come on along!
The big problem with to-do lists is not that they aren’t effective, it’s that we write too many of them and lose them in our lady purses and all around the home. In order to solve this dilemma, I’ve taken to writing my to-do lists on giant cardboard flaps.
In order to keep my supply of giant cardboard flaps stocked, I make sure to order lots of things from Amazon every day. Here is my Amazon affiliate link in case you wish to go buy expensive things so that I may receive a commission for sending you to Amazon to buy the expensive things.
Back to the cardboard flaps. They don’t get lost, which incidentally cuts down on the chance that you will forget to do any of the items on your list. Keep a supply of nice fat Sharpies around for the purpose of writing.
Alternately, you can easily DIY a little Post-it Note necklace by drilling a hole smack in the top middle of your favorite pad, and then stringing a fashionable stringy item (preferably beaded or macrame) through it and wearing it everywhere. Tuck a li’l pencil behind your ear, or in your bra, and you’ll be good to go.
Everybody has their own favorite type of calendar, whether it be a yearly calendar, a horrible “mom” calendar with pockets and stickers and terrible illustrations, a weekly calendar, or even a massive designy calendar that you can’t even fucking write on so what’s the point. (I’m talking to you, Christian.)
I’ve settled on a hanging gossamer thread calendar that I’ve expertly woven in the middle of my kitchen. It hangs from a chandelier, and seductively sways in the breeze of my essential oil diffuser.
When I need to add to it, I simply crochet the appointment or reminder across the open square of string. I feel so creatively satisfied to be able to utilize my magic hands in this way, and then I go back to not doing any work since I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing next, because I can’t really see anything on the calendar.
I can’t ever make a decision on what type of planner to buy so I buy them all and then don’t use any of them and write everything all over the place. Everybody in the world has designed their own planner and I’m overwhelmed and confused by all the options.
In fact I’ve taken to just buying giant pieces of poster board to leave on my work table so I can write thoughts down whenever I please (the reason you aren’t laughing at this part is because it’s true. I really do this.)
Anywaysarooni, I decided if you can’t beat them, join them, so I’m designing my own planner with pages for everything you could possibly ever want to plan or track.
Here are the contents:
- The rate of body parts aging. I’m 46 and things are starting to look grim, folks. I’ve decided to track which body parts begin to fail me first, and at what speed, and compare them against other body parts.
- How many times my dog kicks back the grass after she has pooped. Christian told me he counted 14 times the other day, so I’m determined to see if she’s trying to communicate with us through Morse code.
- My 2-week vacation every month surrounding my menses. During this time I like to contemplate my inner warrior goddess.
- Taco nights
- I like to treat myself to a little sugar each month, so the 14th of each month I allow myself one chocolate chip.
- My 6 week standing tight perm appointment
- Dusting the tops of the doors day
- Scare the shit out of my neighbor. Every 2 months or so, I’ll wait for my neighbor early in the morning as she leaves her house for work. Some days I’ll be crouching in her front bushes, other times I’m sitting in the back seat of her car or slumped over her mailbox.
I keep my kids in tip top shape by tracking their accomplishments on a dry erase board inside of my pantry. Some ideas to steal:
How many times the children use a salad fork instead of a dinner fork to eat their dinner.
That’s all I track. They’re on their own besides that, as I am what you might call a “free range parent”. Gotta go! I’m only halfway into my menstruation vacation.