Creative House Hunting

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Yesterday Christian and I spent 5 hours driving around with a stranger. She was a nice stranger, and not exactly a total stranger, as I had contacted her about showing us some houses. I just broke out in a cold sweat and mentally vomited thinking about buying a house, but it’s actually happening.

We’ve been renting a horrific house of doom for 6 years after crashing with the housing crash, and now we’re dusting our trousers off and jumping back into the old game.

The down side to this is that I can’t pretend to be negligent riffraff and whip my beer cans out the window any more. I must start brushing my teeth again and pretend to care about the state of the lawn- but this is okay. I think I’m up for attempting to act civilized.

During the first few hours I was deep in the throes of a Nyquil hangover, so I have no idea what we saw or what sort of nonsense spewed out of my face, but by the time we had seen about 8 subdivisions and 5 or so houses, we made it to the home Christian and I had been internet-stalking for a few weeks.

It’s a beauty. Nearly 3,000 sf of 80’s splendor, right down to the black/red/white color scheme, mirrored surfaces aplenty, alarmingly high-backed metal chairs. And the layout is insane. Home builders of the 1980’s must have had access to some damn potent drugs- and we’re the whack-jobs who are looking for just this sort of ‘unique’ home.

Our realtor told us that most people like the cookie-cutter, move-in ready, traditional homes, so she had great fun pointing out houses she thought we’d like as we drove by.

What Christian and I share, that apparently most of the people around us don’t, is a need to have a loft-like, open, city-like home nestled in the safe, quiet arms of the suburbs. And we want to pick all of our own surfaces/paint colors/floors, etc. There is absolutely no way we are going to be happy with somebody else’s idea of ‘move-in ready’, so we chose to go the route of Property Brothers sans brothers.

I have a feeling you all will be privy to some of the before and after photos when we finally get to that stage, so I hope you enjoy laughing at other peoples’ remodeling stress.

I’ll leave you with a couple of photos from the home we fell in love with and see if you can see past the fabulous decor and other cosmetic problems…

house1

house2

 

12 Comments

  1. 02/09/2016 / 7:26 am

    OMG IT IS RIGHT OUT OF A JOHN HUGHES MOVIE!!
    You need to buy it.
    Please buy it AND the furniture.
    Then we can film a cool re-make/80’s movie of our own!!
    PLEASE?

    • 02/10/2016 / 1:48 pm

      I’m pretty sure John Cryer comes with the house, but I have to double check.

    • John
      02/14/2016 / 9:48 am

      My tip: More macramé fern hangers. Lots more. And they make some pretty realistic fake ferns these days.

      • 02/17/2016 / 10:35 am

        Why are you not still working as a prop stylist? You obviously haven’t lost your design sense at all.

  2. 02/10/2016 / 8:08 am

    I can already see a dance party happening in the middle of that room.

    • 02/10/2016 / 1:48 pm

      Don;t you know it, girl, DON’T YOU KNOW IT. It’s gonna be so awkward and full of unrecognizable dance moves. And Fig Newtons for snacks!

  3. 02/14/2016 / 6:18 am

    I am drooling over this house. The lines of the ceiling and walls in the second picture make me want to weep with joy. Do I see macrame?

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:38 am

      Weeping with joy over houses is encouraged. That’s how I’m feeling, too. I think I failed to properly notice the macrame with everything else going on in the house; there also happen to be about 16 billion ashtrays and 42.8 billion clocks everywhere, which made all my tics start to fire.

  4. 02/14/2016 / 1:10 pm

    Yay! I can’t wait to see what you will do with this new space to play in!

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:32 am

      I could blast through a few hundred grand in about a minute with what I WANT to do to it. 🙂

  5. 02/14/2016 / 1:12 pm

    Lovely home – can’t wait to see you make it your own!! Congrats!

    • 02/17/2016 / 10:31 am

      Aw thanks Crystal- it’s so fun to start with a blank slate. Well, sort of a blank slate… I’m excited!

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