I just bought this muffin pan from Target, and I was reluctant and a little bit pissy to do so.
I skipped in there with the intention of buying a metal mini muffin pan so I could bake batches of mini muffins to replace the Little Bites that my kids are addicted to, but they were plum out. There was only a pile of 3 wibbly weird silicone pans at $15 a pop.
After I punched a hole in the shelves, I gave the silicone muffin pans another little poke, shrugged, and put one in my cart.
I picked the second one down in the pile because I get a little OCD when I shop, and envision everybody touching the items in the front or the top at the store like I just did, so I always have to take the less violated item.
Here were the pros and cons of buying this pan as opposed to the $5 metal mini muffin pan I was hoping to buy.
Grey is a good color
No greasing or using muffin papers
The squish was growing on me
It was already in my cart
Buying it would allow me to overcome my preconceived ideas of what a mini muffin pan should be, thereby helping me to evolve exponentially as a human, jettisoning me ever closer to enlightenment.
What if it something heavy gets placed on it in my cabinet at home and the little muffin cups become misshapen forever?
Not noisy enough when it banged into other items
And just like that, I knew I was going to go through with the purchase of the silicone mini muffin pan.
Let’s discuss for a moment my reason for buying this pan.
I made a grave mistake earlier this year and bought my kids a box of Little Bites. Unlike the moms of yore, I suffer mini existential crises every time I buy my kids processed, prepackaged foods.
I’ll spare you the pros and cons list, but fuck. fuck. fuck. It’s nice to be able to buy some convenient snacky items for your kids and pretend there’s some sort of nutritional value that goes along with the thin promise of: “No high fructose corn syrup!”
Yeah. Thanks, Little Bites. Exciting news for 2005, but now we need you to figure out how to slip in quinoa, a few probiotics, and make them taste heavenly while you’re at it.
We want them cheap, and we want them to last 6 months without preservatives, mkay.
Anyway, I made the mistake of reading the actual ingredients on the Little Bites box, which are:
- Blue dye
- Red dye
- Chocolatey flavored chips
- Powdery substance
- Liquidy goo
I guess now that I’ve totally sold you on making your own, you’d like a recipe for chocolate chip mini muffins. I used the one from AllRecipes, and yes, it is all sugar and white flour, but it does not contain any preservatives, so I win. Suck it, Little Bites.
P.S. I made 2 batches and added 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder to the second batch. Beckett hated that tweak, Fen thought it was fine but didn’t taste chocolatey enough, and I liked it because it probably made them muffins a little less sweet, even though they aren’t overly sweet to begin with, so maybe I’ll do a little recipe-tweaking someday, and boy is it strangely satisfying to end a post with a run-on sentence good day to you.