My sister and I had a long phone conversation the other day, which is saying a lot because I fucking hate talking on the phone. She was crying in that way that is all about letting something go and healing. Her voice was gravelly and tired. I made myself fully present, and was prepared to have this conversation I had been waiting for.
The day before she had learned that an ex-complicated-relationship of hers that lasted nearly a decade had been found dead in his bed at home. There were no other details, but there was her knowledge of his unhealthy lifestyle.
The death was shocking and sad in the way that that news is when it’s not logically shocking, but it’s still a sudden death so you switch into grief mode.
By grief mode, I mean another level of grief mode. We discussed how she had grieved for him nearly their whole time together as he could never quite be all in. It took her several attempts before she could finally cut it off for good, and then she still saw him on an almost daily basis.
As weepy death conversations usually do, this one finally turned to THE BIGGER PICTURE, which in this case had to do with what purpose he served in her life.
To make things more interesting, there were some more players involved.
For nearly the same amount of time that she dated this person, I’ll call him Brian, she also worked under a boss whose personality and management style clashed with nearly everyone. I’ll call her Fun Time Boss Lady.
JK, I’ll call her Tina. And Tina just left her career there within the past few weeks.
Interestingly, my sister transitioned into a new department in her work place over the past month, so she had just physically moved herself away from Brian and Tina after many years of struggling through these two significant people in her life.
We pondered the timing of all of this, and discussed the timing and meaning of everything.
We discussed our role in manifesting our situations and how we conjure up the exact people we need in order to learn our most important lessons when we need them.
If you tend toward the woo, you will be familiar with the belief that as energy-based spirits we choose precisely who we will born as, and what family we will be born into, ahead of time. This of course is based on what we need to learn in this lifetime so we can continue to evolve.
I covet this idea and think we do this in our daily lives as well. I think we conjure up the people who are best suited to help us learn what we need to learn, and they are there until we are ready to move on.
This can be such a mind-blowing concept, or we can think of it as perfectly obvious- of course we subconsciously latch onto people who can propel us forward in our journey. Of course we focus on the people around us, whether positively or negatively, that will have the most impact and teach us the biggest lessons.
All the other people don’t shine as brightly, they aren’t as useful to us and therefore don’t stick into our world as strongly.
Sometimes, as in my sister’s case, the lessons are so obvious. She needed to work through and get beyond Brian so she could move into her current positive relationship. She had to work through her ex-boss so she could move into her much more satisfying work position.
I think what we found most interesting about her situation is that *as soon as* she upped her career, these 2 major people/lessons actually physically disappeared. It was as if neither of them actually existed except to guide her on her path.
That’s what her movie version would be. That’s my brain enjoying the irony of the timing of her situation and enjoying the wonder we shared at discussing all of it.
That’s also us making sense of a sudden death and trying to explain it in a meaningful way.
I have a few people in my world right now I am wondering about. What is my link to them? I can feel a link. What are my lessons I am choosing currently? Who are they to me, and what am I needing to achieve?
My Son’s Stuffed Animals Are Sentient Beings